Filed under: life
She did come down. She rummaged my entire desk for a lighter.
Like I keep lighters just sitting around. Do you know what a daily temptation that would be? Kind of like my apartment for my last two years of college, that had an alarm system with a panic button in each bedroom. Right next to the bed. Red button. Just sitting there. Being red. For three years. Putting a red button next to someone’s head for three years, a red button that should not be pushed lest ye become known as the apartment that cried wolf, is just one slight step above, temptation-wise, anyway, putting a lighter on the desk of a disgruntled (not because of work, just born that way) employee in an accounting firm that has not yet managed to go paperless.
Whoosh!
Right, so I don’t keep lighters laying around all willy nilly on my desk.
TJ: I don’t HAVE one!
Co-worker: *rummage, rummage* You said you just WENT.
TJ: I banged two rocks together, stop touching my stuff!
When I demanded she stop being funny, as she is taking over my webpage,
The Redhead: ha.
The Redhead: my cleverness is like a virus.
The Redhead: and you
The Redhead: missy
The Redhead: are INFECTED
Sorry, Internet. I didn’t realize.
Also, just so that I appear well-rounded, I am not merely a bitch on the internet, but occasionally flex my bitch-muscles at co-workers as well, via inter-office instant messaging.
Co-worker: would u like to accompany me for a cig?
TJ: Just went, plus you smell.
Co-worker: can i come down and borrow ur lighter
TJ: NO WAY
Co-worker: jerkface
Co-worker: im coming
TJ: I’ll have you arrested.
Co-worker: and ill give u a hug
TJ: I’ll throw up on your shoes and THEN have you arrested.
Co-worker: hahahaha
Co-worker: IM COMING
Co-worker: and u better give it to me
Co-worker: or else i WILL hug u
As you can see, there’s about to be a throw down at the TJ Desk.
